Don't waste the toothpaste

A year ago Christmas I had purchased a 6 oz. tube of Colgate Triple Action, Double Whitening, Fluoride Power Bump toothpaste.  By the first of April we had used 4.5 ounces.  Did we discard the tube?  No!  I took a pair of fine needle nose pliers and rolled out another ounce.  Down to 1/2 an ounce did we throw out the tube?  No!  I took a 12 pound sledge hammer and put the tube on an anvil.  As I smacked the B-Jesus out of the tube, my wife stood by with a catchers mitt lined with Saran Wrap, as 3/8 of an ounce whizzed through the air, across the garage, My sweet wife leaped up and caught the little wad before it hit the ceiling!  Did we then pitch the last remaining 1/8 ounce, NO!  We took it to a machine shop and they put the tube into a 40 Ton Wilton hydraulic press, the kind the use for stamping automobile fender and body panels. As the press lowered on to the the paper thin mangled tube, the last bit exploded across the machine shop -- and as luck would have landed in the mouth of a rather burly man, just as he was yawning!  OH MY GOOD he bellowed, this is great, I just finished my lunch and I was on my way to the bathroom to brush me teeth!